It was a Wednesday evening and I was on my way home from work. My wife called and asked if I could pick up a pizza on the way home. “Of course, that sounds like a great idea because I don’t feel like cooking tonight,” I said. Now, my wife and I love all kinds of pizza. “Any pizza is good pizza” is what we live by. In the interest of time, I decided to get on the Little Caesar’s app and order a Hot-N-Ready so that I can just walk in, grab it, and be on my way. However, when I opened the app, there was a new choice I hadn’t seen before. “Pretzel Crust Hot-N-Ready” was displayed in the menu and in a moment of weakness, decided to take the plunge and try this new, intriguing option. Oh, I should probably also include the small detail of making this decision without consulting my wife.

With the package (pizza) secured, I picked up my wife and headed up to our favorite spot overlooking the valley to eat our pizza. Once we arrived and settled in, I opened up the box, presenting my surprise pretzel crust pizza to my wife, only to be welcomed by her saying, “What on earth did you get?” Well, that wasn’t what I was expecting to hear. To my surprise, I turned the box my way and take a look for myself. What I saw in the box did not resemble what I had imagined.

I also assumed that it was just a normal pizza with pretzel crust. Wrong. It was a pepperoni pizza on a pretzel crust, as indicated, but with a cheddar sauce in place of your typical tomato sauce. This is what lost me. However, remember our motto, “Any pizza is good pizza?” So we dug in thinking, “Eh, it’s not perfect but should be fine.” Wrong again. It was pretty disgusting. What’s funny is that this pizza was originally a special four years ago but had been discontinued. It was brought back by Little Caesars due to popular demand. I’m not sure which people out there needed this back in their lives, but they must be psychopaths. As you can imagine, this was an exceedingly traumatic experience considering the debunking of our motto. Indeed, not just any pizza is good pizza.